I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
