all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
thus making me awesome and them whores
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize