Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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