It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
