coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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