dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
