# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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