Someone shit on the floor
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
