Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
