Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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