Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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