I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
