i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
