this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
