Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
