After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
