its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
