It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
