if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
