I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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