I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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