No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i think im in europe. pls send help
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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