Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
