my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
