Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
