okay pat passed out under dana's car
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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