I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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