i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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