How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
