How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
