Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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