So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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