her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
4 words: hood of his car
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
