i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
