I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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