They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
