forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I AM VODKA MAN
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
