i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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