Having a random hookup so left but love u
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
