I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
