why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
