This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
