Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
In America we eat man semen.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
