You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
