make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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