My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Welp...herpes.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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