the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
