Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Congratulations! We have a period
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
