Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You work out of a Hotel?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
