Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize