i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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