I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This is my gift to your gina
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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