Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i wish my penis had a tongue
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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