dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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