It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
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