Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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