I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize