Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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