One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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