Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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