Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
handjob tips. give me some.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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