people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
