I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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