what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
